a revelation

Well, I’m writing this post not to tell about what I’ve been up to, but rather to give God the glory about a struggle I’ve been having. Let me start off by giving a little background to this story. First of all, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this or talked about it at all yet, but the key verse for this year is Matthew 6:33 which says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Secondly, at Camp LIFE, the American counselors are all given a group of kids to minister to each week. Full-time staff isn’t allowed to have one because of their responsibilities, but summer staff is allowed to have a group (but doesn’t necessarily have to have one). At the beginning of the summer, they designated certain weeks for the summer staffers to have groups if we wanted, and I was assigned to the last week that I would be here (which is this upcoming week). Well, this whole summer, I’ve been debating whether or not I really want a group. I love being behind the scenes of camp and making things run smoothly, and I’m really in my element doing summer staff tasks. Being assigned to have my group on the last week also made me question wanting a group because I wanted to spend the last week here as a full summer staffer, doing summer staff jobs, not being a counselor. My dad is also coming and having a group next week, so I wanted to have that free time to also spend with him and his group. Furthermore, I’m on a Z-pack trying to get over this fever and sinus cold AND we’ve been going, going, going on very little sleep, so by the time my week for camp rolls around, I would absolutely be physically exhausted and probably wouldn’t have the energy to spend on my kids. But on the other hand, I was constantly reminding myself that if I were a counselor, 10 more kids who have never been to Camp LIFE and who have probably never heard about Jesus Christ would get to come and have their lives changed. They would have the chance to receive hope and light in their seemingly hopeless lives full of darkness and pain. I would hear the stories of 10 kids who have no one else to tell their stories to. Because I have to give a final answer to the staff  ASAP, I talked to the other summer staffers about it all last night. Even after talking to them, I was still so lost and confused about what to do.
This morning, I woke up and that decision was at the forefront of my mind. Greer is always telling the kids that to give power to the Word or to prayer, you must speak it out loud. After I brushed my teeth, I said out loud, “Lord, please give me discernment on whether or not you want me to have a group. Please let me carry out your will for this last week.” And I kid you not, immediately, the Lord reminded me of the key verse for this week. Seek first HIS KINGDOM, and then all these things will be added unto you. Oh. My. Gosh. This entire summer, we’ve been telling kids to act on this verse, but I haven’t even been doing it myself. Greer always tells the counselors that this verse isn’t only for the kids, but it’s also for them. Seeking first God’s kingdom means putting my selfish desires out of the way and personally investing in the lives of ten kids for His glory. What it means is that I’m having a group next week. Hands down. The Lord spoke very clearly to me this morning about what He wants me to do next week. Spending my last week with the staff and spending time here with my Dad is nothing compared to giving the Lord victory over Satan’s grasp in these kids’ lives and giving up a week of what I want to do to further God’s kingdom. DUH. After this battle between having a group and not having a group, I’m now so excited to see who God is going to put in my life next week. I know that each and every one of the kids in my group will be given hope in Christ next week. I’m excited to see how God’s going to continue to teach me this verse this week. I don’t know what age kids I’m getting or whether they’re girls or boys, but I’m excited and ready to blindly trust in the Lord once again and to see how He’s going to work in my heart this next week. God is so good and sovereign, and He definitely knows what He’s doing! I am so blessed that He is continuing to teach me so much during my time here in Zambia.